a posture of confession
Allow me to confess…even if I am a pastor, I have some not very good thoughts! Let me share with you one…
…once while having my devotional, I resisted what the Lord was teaching me that day. I didn’t like it and I rejected it in my mind. The object of my reading was a very common part of the Bible, Matthew 5: 39-42:
“…do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also. If you are sued in court and your shirt is taken from you, give your coat, too. If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles. Give to those who ask, and don’t turn away from those want to borrow.”
Contemplating deeply about that passage, I thought as a good follower of Jesus, I have to practice those! BUT my mind was repulsive! Because if I do, it seemed like…
- I would ‘allow’ an evil person to manipulate, control, harm me and tolerate an abuse on me.
- I would have to give to the extent of having nothing of my own.
- I would have to submit to, take note, a DEMAND not a request!
I didn’t like it because I know if I will practice those, some of my rights as a person will be denied, I will feel humiliated and I will be hurt.
I started to read other passages from the other books of the Gospel and the Letters of Paul. But the more I found those passages supporting that teaching. I didn’t end my reading with a prayer and with repulsiveness hanging in my mind I proceeded on with the day, until I had a talk with my accountability buddies at the end of the day. I talked with them about my struggle on the passage. One of them gave a piece of his cent on this, he said…
Doing so doesn’t mean you are denied of yourself and defied to own your self-worth but instead, in circumstances like that you are called to handle the situation GRACIOUSLY, meaning, living it UNDER GOD’S GRACE!
That hit me…that was exactly how to live a life after giving fully myself to God…
I LIVE NOT BUT HE LIVES IN ME BECAUSE SINCE THEN I LIVE IN HIS GRACE!
WHATEVER PEOPLE MAY THINK OF ME OR HOWEVER THEY MAY TREAT ME, I TREAT THEM GRACIOUSLY, BECAUSE I HAVE WORTH IN HIM, I AM ESTEEMED BY HIM AND I AM LOVED BY HIM!
Until now some few months after that day, I am still learning to practice how to live under His Grace, and there are times I fail, even while leading LifeChurch Makati!
Lifers and LifeChurch Makati friends, I hope and pray that you will still look at me as a worthy pastor after this confession.
